On the dark side.

​Do you guys remember those tiny  skin pigments you read about in school, melanin?  Remember? I happen to own so much of that, probably wondering where am going with this, i mean to say, i am dark skin (we have two types though, brown and black, I am not yet aware of which one i am). Its sad though, many dark skin are opting for a lighter skin tone, so they have gone through great deals to shade of  that colour. Something  i find so hard to understand. I am no judge though, thats what free will is for, to choose whatever we want with our lifes. I am proud of who i am as in its not my fault that my homo sapien ancestors decided to migrate from the rainy forest to the sunny savannas altering our dna and changing our skin colour? ( What i read.) I believe  i was wonderfully created, The way i am.

So my curiosity led me to a future me, my tales as a dark one in a world full of light ones. Before that let me explain what it is like right now, imagine what it is like to be made to feel less of who you are? Less beautiful, less capable, less humorous, less everything, Always the one with dry jokes. The Awkward one. I saw a job requirement  reading  only light skin ladies. Even the dark skin gentlemen are dating lighter girs. My ideas, my opinion are likely to be heard if i am lighter. If socialites are changing their skin with all the glamour and fame, imagine  of a simple dark skin country girl.  Waking up every morning  with a shattered self esteem, a dead confidence and no matter how great others  thing you are, never feeling great. The pain of having to live in your shadows, of never knowing  or showing how great you are.

The future me i imagned, a few dark people living in a light world. But this time, only the skin will have changed, for the sophisticated  cosmetics are incapable of altering our dna. The  effort we will have trying to explain to children why they have a dark skin different from their parents or will we have to introduce them to the very method we use to change their colour too at a very early  age? The much chemicals we expose our bodies to in the process, will they permit us to live long enough? Am no expert, guess we will find out.

Then being dark will be a disease or depending on how rare we will be, we may be put in zoo’s To think of it, melanin will be a much sought  after commodity, we will be rare, chances of us being poached  and  extracted of our precious pigments  are high. No way, technology will have provided  a way. After the dark skin have gone extinct i guess  everyone of the artificially turned light skin will want to be dark again, Like i said its my imaginations we will have to find out.

In the meanwhile, like someone  said 

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.
Its all about who we are inside. we all are beautiful, be it light,dark, brown,white, red name them. If you don’t  beleive you can how will you convince others of how capable you are? we unfold our own myth. We are our personalities, our self worth, we are who we beleive we are, not someone else. My confidence is built  on the things that i can do, not on what others think i can or cannot do. ( Though at times it is needed to boost, key word boost not create our esteem).We are more than just skin colour.  I can never change who i am, for i can achieve anything by beleiving in who i am. Accepting and loving who i am.  Whatever we outwardly give is what we attract. Be self loving and that what you will attract around you. You will never find a lion taking a walk with a group of wailing hyenas. Like my wise ancestors  said (not the adventurous homo sapiens ones) Judge not your beauty by the number of people who look at you, but rather by the number of people who smile at you. ~African Proverb. Beauty is what you posses. 

Love don’t love me.

“It was a great moment,Unforgettable, you should have seen me.” My friend was not leaving out any details. I hated this, over an hour of pure torture, one no one was forcing on me. The price i had to pay for being a best friend. I sat comfortably, all attention on her, almost found myself taking notes. It would be unwise to not listen, this was a requirement as per the friendship codes. So i let myself travel with her to that moment, i watched her face glow, her smile brighten, she had touched the stars.

“when i walked in all eyes were on me. For a moment i was Cleopatra my dear,i was a beauty goddess,flawless, i walked with grace, every calculated step i took was a magic ward,turning all eyes to my direction. I consumed the air, imagine the poor breathless souls, Then i saw him,my Caesar, I could feel his charm from a distance. My senses were multiplied, my heart was beating so fast and still seemed to stop. Instead of butterflies i had birds in my tummy that seemed to shake my whole being making me aware of my every move. A piece of art,i guess the creator took time to complete and mould him into perfection. Ignoring all the ceaser wannabes i walked straight into my prince charming’s wide open arms.A perfect moment. As he pulled a chair next to him,i could see how dissapointed the ladies were. Too caught up in the moment, i couldn’t see the sarcastic smile he had,i couldn’t see the scorn in the other ladies, i couldn’t see the laughter in his friends, it was my moment.” on and on she gave me details of how her prince took her to paradise and dropped her in hell. I could tell she was hurt. More and more i followed her story until she hit me with the question, ” why did it happen to me?”

why did it? Her love story didn’t not last. Her beauty was enchanting, she loved truly, she gave her all, He was perfect, she had the charm but no matter what she did, she couldn’t keep him. So she concluded, love didn’t not love her.

We all have gone through that i guess (if not love really does favour you) made to feel unwanted, dissapointed in ourselves, questioned us on why others have love while we don’t. Cried ourselves to sleep. Tried to change how we are but some times it seems not to work. we hate ourselves for it then decide to let go of love and watch as people try to find it.

How wrong we are. I agree i hardly understand how it works but am sure love finds us, just as am sure everything happens for a reason. So i comforted my friend wondering if really love didn’t love her, Though i didn’t know what to tell her ( had less to tell, just a boost of her self-esteem and confidence) i believed in love for everyone. I told myself of a not tragic love story but of a paradise full of love. had to believe in love, for love is all i give and love is all i should receive. Love loves me.

Recognition Award.

Things we never say- the power of word of mouth. https://marymuema.wordpress.com/

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives

It will be unwise of me to not say thankyou to my blogging friend petrel41 -dear kitty.some blog for nominating my blog for the Bloggers Recognition Awards.

The rules of this award are:

(1) Write a post to show your award

(2) Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you

(3) Write a brief story about how you got started blogging

(4) Give two pieces of advice for new bloggers

(5) Nominate 15 deserving blogger

Its been a year since i started blogging. It was a part of my college project but i never stopped since then.

My advice is be yourself and never shy off from expressing yourself. Word is power. Accept when corrected, we learn from our mistakes.

The unfair game i have to play.

How am i supposed  to compete,for with all my confidence, i still feel like an elephant in a body of a locust?
How do i win in a world full of competitors?

How am i supposed to tell my stories to a world that has its book full? How if not by building my own small world. But then, will it not let me win or give me credits when i don’t  deserve it? How do i become better when everyone wants to be better without me inviting envy and jealous around me? Do i pull down my esteem alittle to show people that i care about what they  think of me and to show them that they have effect on me when they dont and i actually don’t  care?Do i let fake smiles fool me, people walk all over me so as to give them a sense of superiority or do i walk with my head held high and stumble on them like the queen i believe to be?

How am i supposed  to fit in? To accommodate all without the lofty glances, making enemies, criticism? How do i compete with the superior, the weak and the equals? With the world that has all without  feeling more or less? How if not by letting people be who they want? How if not by being me? How would you?

How do i show that i love and care too much without being taken for a weakling? Do i stop caring but then be branded with animosity rudeness and in human?

why pluck my teeth off and expect a smile with grace and not disgust and sarcasm dearest world? How fairly do i compete? How do i eliminate evil from good when my good can be your evil?

How would you do it? Is it a competition if i just be me? my competition, with only me as a competitor?

Believe in you.
Trust God.
Know your God. For i know mine.